Contacting a Loved One That’s Incarcerated

by Jimmy Kansela, co-op student

Staying in touch with a loved one who has been incarcerated can be overwhelming, especially if it is your first time navigating the system. The first step is confirming where they are being held- whether in a local jail, provincial/state facility, or federal institution. Each location has its own rules, so identifying the correct facility helps you understand what communication options are.

Once you know the facility, review its specific guidelines for phone calls, mail, and visitation. Most institutions allow letters, monitored phone calls, and either in-person or video visits, but each has restrictions what can be sent, how calls are placed, and how visits are scheduled. Incarcerated individuals generally cannot receive incoming calls, so families must set up accounts with the facility’s approved phone system and follow all identification and security requirements.

Mail and visitation are the most reliable ways to maintain connection and offer support. When sending letters, always include the inmates full name, id number, and the exact facility address.

If your loved one is facing active charges, maintaining contact through their attorney is also critical. Legal communication is confidential and make sure that important details about their case, court dates, and rights are protected. A lawyer can not only facilitate proper communication, but also help families understand what to expect at each stage of the legal process, offering reassurance during a rather stressful time for everyone.

 If there is an emergency, like a serious illness, injury, or death in an inmate’s family, the superintendent or another person in charge can give the inmate permission to use the phone. In these situations, the prison will pay for the call so the inmate can get important information right away.

Normally, inmates are allowed to use the phone system for up to five hours each day. This gives them time to stay in touch with family, friends, or other important people. But if an emergency happens, the prison can let them use the phone even more so they can deal with the situation. There is also a rule that all calls on the pay phones can only last 20 minutes. After 20 minutes, the call will automatically stop. This rule helps make sure everyone gets a fair chance to use the phones.

 Keeping in touch regularly really helps your loved one feel calmer and more supported. Talking to them through calls, letters, or visits reminds them that you’re still there for them, and that can make a big difference in how they handle everything.

If you’re confused about the rules at the facility or what rights they have, a lawyer can explain things in a way that’s easy to understand. They can help you figure out what you’re allowed to do and what steps you should take so you can support your loved one without feeling lost or stressed.